I have been thinking about my place in this world lately. And, whether or not anything that I do makes any difference at all to anyone, other than myself. I can't seem to get any of the projects off the ground, due to obstacles and situations which are largely out of my control, and my failure to compromise on the values which are most important to me. The ones that make me original, human and alive.
I am neither bleak, nor despairing, nor a quitter by nature. But, the thought of giving up has become more prevalent in my mind the past few weeks. I feel a sense of dread, like a weight upon me at times, dampening any and all sparks of joy or enthusiasm I might feel, while filling my mind with thoughts of futility. As uncomfortable as this is, and as painful as these feelings are, I know that they are just thoughts. And, I know that they will pass. Which is hugely helpful for me.
When struggling with denser emotions, it helps me to practice being kind to myself, by remembering that I am just learning how to live. I have never done this before, and it can be really challenging at times. But, I am doing the best that I can. Another thing that helps, is to channel my energy into creative solutions or to follow the thread of an idea to see where it leads.
The stickers above developed from this frame of mind, around a phrase scrawled in my dream notebook. I am intrigued by language and the way that words can be combined to convey multiple meanings. I am fascinated by the phrase... Dream Tomorrow Kinder, its sense of empowerment and mystery, and what it may imply. Is it a request, a demand, a choice or a challenge?
For me, it speaks of broad and limitless possibility. And, an individual's willingness and courage to connect with life wherever, or however, they are.
After working unbelievably hard preparing last-minute holiday signage (above) over the Thanksgiving weekend for a client, they reneged on the contract yesterday. This situation is very upsetting for me. I put so much time and effort into creating the designs, producing the electronic files and making arrangements with a new vendor to print the signs quickly so we could install them asap.
The signage was meant to hang on the aging orange water-barriers surrounding a shared outdoor meeting space downtown. The project was cancelled because even though the samples and final designs received approval from the party who contacted me, they did not reflect the "brand" of a local business which shares the space. It seems that festive is not an aspect of their "aesthetic".
I spent 15-20 hours on this project, for which I will receive nothing. This is, unfortunately, an all to common occurrence for artists working in today's world. Which leaves me a bit heart-broken. To see the project fall flat due to a failure to conform to an established corporate image is disheartening. Yet, quite frankly, quite typical of my experience as an unconnected artist living in a city which tends to be rather cliquish, stuck in the past, unsupportive and narrow-minded when it comes to public art.
There is little I can do about a situation like this, but learn from it, and seek opportunities with folks who want to share joy and smiles.
This is the first design in a new series called Transcending.
This idea for this sticker came during an evening walk around town. It is a direct reaction to the ironic "Fight Hate" sticker that was attached to my favorite park bench. While the sentiment behind the "Fight Hate" sticker seems well-intentioned, there is no way to "fight" hate without creating more hate, as like breeds like.
So, what can we do about hate, an emotion which provides no real or long lasting good? I think, we can simply choose to abandon it. Fighting hate only strengthens it's resolve. Better yet to let it go, to abandon it, to run away and show others the way, or to take the hand of someone who has already escaped it clutches.
However, in order to abandon anything, we must understand that what we are leaving behind is what is holding us back. It is something which no longer serves us or our continued growth as human beings. And, we need be diligent in recognizing and releasing the thought patterns, stories or justifications which hold our hatred in place.
SweetFrau hopes to create banners, stickers and signage to install in derelict spaces. To raise fund for this project, she is selling 3 x 6 inch stickers of this design. To order one or more, please use the contact form.
The idea for this project was to create a guerilla giveaway for Independence Day, which highlighted the indivisible aspect of unity. And, at the same time, the variation of form and function within humanity.
One Nation, Indivisible.
The population of the United State (333 million) includes people of all shapes, sizes, colors, genders, and ethnicities. It consists of people from all walks of life, with different points of view, and one common goal. The freedom to BE.
333 individual pins were created for this project. Each pin is a different color, symbolizing the vast array of Human BEings which comprise our dynamic nation.
One Nation, Indivisible. popped up on the streets of downtown Petaluma on Sunday, July, 4, 2021 to coincide with Independence Day holiday. Five locations in high traffic areas were chosen.
I worked myself far ahead last night. I finished the last of the pins at 2:30am. The thought of going to bed without finishing the last batch of pins was REALLY unpalatable for me. Amazingly, I was not tired so I just kept working. The box in the images below contains the 333 pins with their backing cards. They are ready to be locked and ready to be loaded! YAY.
Today, I just had a little clean up work to do, and needed to make and attach the signs for the distribution displays. I finished everything and packed my bag for tomorrow's giveaway by 3:00pm. Which, was nice. I usually procrastinate a little, and end up working, until I go to bed, the night before a giveaway.
I had so much extra time that I even made a little sign for the bag I use to carry the distributions displays downtown. Awesome!!! I will NEVER deny being a it of an obsessive little geek for these projects! It is SOOOO much fun to spread color and joy.
One of the things that I notice while doing these guerilla giveaway projects is how ideas/concepts emerge and develop according to their own will and schedule. How some projects turn out exactly as they initially arrived. Others, start out as one thing and change into something else, which better suits the concept. And, how some projects require much more lead time than others, due to materials used and the resources at hand. Still others need the energy of procrastination to push them along.
The Love Bunnies, for example, took a few weeks to produce. Since, having a limited number of molds, I could produce only 24 rabbits at a time, Those rabbits needed to cure in the molds for at least 12 hours. Then air dry for another 24. Then they needed to be painted sealed and have the applique of the words attached to them.
This project started out as an idea for a sticker, which when rolled up for distribution would look like a firecracker. I had some ideas about making the distribution basket into a cake and sticking the rolled up stickers/firecrackers into it as if they were candles. I had some ideas for a character sticker, but when I sat down to work on them, they did not feel right.
So, I abandoned it. I watched Netflix and just let it go. Awhile later, my thoughts turned toward the project again and Independence Day. I instantly had an idea of adopting an image from one older project, and the and concept from another, came into my mind. And One Nation, Indivisible was born.
Over the course of two nights, I mixed 333 colors and created 333 pins circle backgrounds with different colors. Below are some images of the early stages of production.
The growing pile of pins after being assembled which includes placing the pin paper on a metal shell convering it wil a mylar sheet and makeng the front with a button press. The back is then placed into the press and pressure fit into place. Once the pins were done, stickers were place on the back of each one. And, finally.
What is a seed bomb?
The seed bomb is a mixture of clay, soil and seeds rolled into a small ball for the purpose of direct seeding. Seed bombs were popularized by guerrilla gardeners, in New York City in the early 1970s where they were deployed as a stealth weapon to alleviate urban blight and rehabilitate and/or re-green vacant lots. They were inspired by the natural farming methods of Japanese micro-biologist Masanobu Fukuoka, who used clay encrusted seed pellets to propagate his crops.
Mr. Fukuoka believed that Mother Nature takes care of the seeds we sow. She decides which crops to provide us with depending on the available resources and prevailing conditions. Ultimately, it is Mother Nature who decides what will grow and when germination will occur. Whether that be in seven days, seven months or seven years.
Handmade and homemade in Petaluma, these seed bombs were created to inspire joy and wonder. They consist of clay, earth/soil and native wildflower and grass seed.
About two weeks ago, I started working on another guerilla giveaway. In honor of Mother's Day, I decided to honor all mothers, including Mother Earth and Mother Nature, by making seed bombs from native wildflowers and grass seeds. I got an early start on the project, making 200 seed bombs immediately. I also researched and ordered small biodegradable bags to put them into for distribution. And then... the project stalled. The seed bombs sat untouched on a foil-covered metal baking tray near the stove and I lost interest in writing for and designing the packaging until last night. When, my enthusiasm returned and everything came together.
So, began a whirlwind of activity, and another late night and early morning of putting together fun and colorful surprises. I am on the fence about whether my procrastination is a problem for me or not. Since, I can't force myself to do these things any sooner AND I really like what is born of it. So, for the time being, I am just not going to worry about it at all. It is what it is.
Below are some images of the production in progress.
This was the state of things last night when I was less than halfway through. I have discovered that working in little batches is much easier on the body, mind and spirit than completing one task before moving onto the next one. I loved seeing the finished pile get larger and larger and more colorful!
Packed up and ready to go. I have discovered that stealth work involves careful planning and packing. The displays are filled up and loaded in intact, so that installation can be done quickly and easily with two zip ties. I also pack few extra items, like tape, string, wire, wire-cutters, and my don't leave home without it unless you are going to the airport trusty olfa knife, Just in case, zip ties are not adequate for hanging.
I created this as a donation for the Altered Book show/fundraiser at MOCA which runs from April 24 through May 23, 2022. This piece came together despite my best efforts to over-think and complicate it. The pink is lighter and brighter than it appears in the photo. It was designed to hang on the wall, like a painting. Getting good images of this piece was challenging, since it was finished mere moments before being delivered. Procrastination seems to be the name of the game for me these days. Things are ready when they are ready, and no sooner.
This piece remains untitled. It evoked different ideas, thoughts, insights and feelings as it was pulling itself together, never really settling on any one, but rather incorporating them all, in a multi-layered or point of reference sort of way. A friend saw it and asked me about metaphors, meanings and what it meant. I hadn't really thought about how to describe it, since I sort of felt it. It was interesting for me put it into into words to see what I thought.
This piece is also somehow invisibly tethered to this thought/quote... "Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue." - Rainer Maria Rilke
Ultimately, I doesn't matters what I see in a piece or what I intended. What matters is the observer's experience. How it makes them feel and what it says to them when viewed thorough the unique lens of their existence.
The links below contain more information about the show, in case you want to see the other pieces in the show and/or bid on them.
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